Why e-governance will only be an idea in India

e-governance in India
From the moment one of our team-members chanced upon this in his bored web-trawlings, we have been laughing so hard that we fear for ourselves. Remember that dream about E-governance in India ? Going by this, it will remain that, a dream.

At the core of this rib-rattler is a pdf document that has been issued by the National Meat & Poultry Processing Board that invites “Expressions of Interest for “Upgradation and Maintenance of official website for National Meat & Poultry Processing Board”, and details out in chilling detail, covering 19 pages, listing out every single macro-level step that is involved in the whole process. Also need to inform you, this was put out in 2010, to be fair.

To construct an online presence for an arm of the government, this is how it unravels. Suffice to say, Mr Bean enters after the first paragraph.

Here is how it works. You pay Rs 5000 and get a Pre-bid application form which you fill up and submit. The Babus do an “assessment” and select a bunch based on the qualifications and expertise. Now this “Bidders” pay an additional Rs 20,000 to qualify for the bid. You have to submit TWO sealed bids – a TECHNICAL Bid and a FINANCIAL Bid. Based on the lowest FINANCIAL Bid [stands to reason (!)], you would be selected.

Here are some of our favorite moments in the whole process.

Keepsakes : 1. The detailed CEI document indicating the scope of work, qualifying requirements, bidding forms and procedure for submission of proposal for CEI can be obtained till 5.00 by 22/11/2010 from …..on payment of Rs. 5,000/- (non- refundable) by DD/ Pay Order payable at New Delhi in favour of “National Meat & Poultry Processing Board (NMPPB)”

Ummm, Rs 5, 000 just to bask in the magnanimity of allowing us to let the government know that we could build you a great online presence ?

Keepsakes : 2.The agency should have executed at least five similar projects for Ministries/Departments of Government of India/State Governments/any other similar organization may be given preference

Translated, it means, you have to be of the special merit category of those who had already gone through this “experience” five times over and should clinically insane to be submitting it for the 6th time.Also means you should have already spent Rs 1, 25,000 in this Comedy of Errors to be eligible.( 5 succesful previous bids @ INR 25,000 each )

Keepsakes : 3.The terms of payment would be as under:-

  • 20% as advance on award of work.
  • 30% after submission and acceptance of Draft design of website.
  • 30% after launch of website.
  • 20% after three months of satisfactory running.
Whoa ! Run that by me again ! 20% after satisfactory running of the website? What exactly do they think an online presence is, a motor vehicle, for Chrissakes?
And it goes on and on piling surreality upon surreality.

The Icing on the Cake.

Going by this document published in 2010, and looking at the current state of the website that it intended to upgrade, it would be safe to surmise that, no one really bothered or really cared ( vendors that is ) to redeem our National Meat & Poultry Processing Board’s online presence. You see, this is how it looks now !

National-Meat-and-Poultry-Processing-Board-website-screengrab

Click on the image for Browser Width

Mera Bharat Mahan.

 

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